Let It Be Lindsey

Moving...again...

2009-11-08T16:28:00.000-06:00

I'm switching over from Blogger to Wordpress, so please update your readers and join me at:

http://lindseyarnold.wordpress.com

I just couldn't resist all the fancy bells and whistles. :-)

He Died for Our Entertainment

2009-10-27T21:31:00.005-05:00

I'm really starting to get excited about this paper for my Religion and the Body class. Rather than just stick with "The Passion of the Christ" (over done!) I'm branching out to do a survey of the crucifixion in several Jesus movies. I'm starting with a 1905 silent film, working my way through "The Greatest Story Ever Told," "Jesus Christ Superstar" (duh.), "Jesus of Nazareth", and a few others in addition to "The Passion." I'm focusing primarily on Jesus' body, how it is dressed, treated, abused, what it looks like...etc... It's something I've never really paid attention to before, and it's fascinating.

My argument right now is that over the years not only has the violence level of Jesus films increased, but Jesus has become more and more super-human. That's not a theological argument, mind you, but rather just a look at the Jesus character. I mean let's face it, Mel Gibson's Jesus would have been dead from blood loss long before he ever carried the cross to Golgotha. But I also haven't seen many of these movies in quite awhile (if ever) so I might change that working hypothesis.

Oh man, I'm totally nerding out. I apologize. Here... here's a picture of a hamster for those of you who are bored with this entry already.
I tried to get Archie to help me with my homework. He decided to try and make a nest out of my wool sweater instead. He's tricky like that.

The difficult thing about being a "Religious Studies" master's student is that I'm not always sure I belong in "Religious Studies." However, I think this is an issue for most people in Religious Studies departments. A lot of what we do, what we're interested in, sort of spans disciplines. Some of us are interested in archaeology, sociology, psychology, history, literature, etc. But we all come together under the umbrella of "religious studies" because what we study has some aspect of "religion" in it... maybe.

So I ask myself: my paper is on film, and while it's religious film, is it religion? Is what I'm doing film studies or is it religious studies? Do I belong in another department?

Perhaps it all comes down to the question of "what is religion really?"
I'll get back to you on that one...

PS: Did you know Christian Bale once played Jesus? I don't know that I'll be watching "Mary, Mother of God" for my paper, but I just might for my own fascination. Is it possible he could rival Willem Dafoe as my favorite? Uh oh...

Jedi Training: Episodes..um...7-15

2009-10-26T11:09:00.005-05:00

So as Matt pointed out just a moment ago in the GA office, I've been slacking on my Jedi training blogging.

So, rapid fire, here we go:

Day 7: Take one hour of your time to just totally relax in silence but think of something that makes you smile.
I read a chapter from my favorite book ever: Lamb. If you haven't read it, you should. Heck, I'll buy you a copy.

Day 8: Take a walk for 30 mins clear your head and mind and think of something that makes you smile.
Yeah, I failed.

Day 9: Tell some one you love, that you love them and do so in a meaningful way.
I love my Mommy. She's awesome.

Day 10-12: The basic premise of these 3 days was to make a list of problems, write resolutions to those problems and enact the resolutions.
Matt and I had similar problems, mostly procrastination and school. Lucky Matt, he doesn't have ex-boyfriends who make life miserable...but that's all taken care of now. I think more than any thing we learned how good we are at making lists and fooling ourselves.

Day 13: Make friends with some one new.
Insert *awkward robot* here.

Day 14: Make it your goal not to have any conflict today think of something that makes you smile and keep out of any conflict or argument.
Check.

Day 15: Today try to just drink water from when you wake up till when you go to sleep.
This morning I dragged myself into the GA office contemplating going downstairs to get a cup of coffee. Notsomuch. I'll survive, I'm sure. :-)

So, that's it... our Jedi training up 'til now. Only a few more days until we can officially call ourselves "Apprentice Jedi." I'm still looking for someone who wants to sponsor us for $7 so we can become Padawan. Any takers?

This is why I like going to Toys R Us with Tim, he opens boxes for me and takes pictures while I try on the "Star Wars Force Trainer!"

Signs that graduate school has fried your brain...

2009-10-20T20:52:00.002-05:00

I just tried to use my TV remote control to turn the lights in my living room off.

Ow. Thinking hurts.

Jedi Training: Episodes 3,4,5 and 6

2009-10-05T11:19:00.002-05:00

My computer is currently...um... indisposed, so I have been quite negligent in my Jedi blogging. My apologies.

First off, let me start this post by saying "I am, in fact, a cheater." Our motto during my second summer at Tawakoni was "If you ain't cheatin' you ain't tryin' hard enough." Having said that...

Day 3: Today try a new food.
This proved to be the most difficult part of Jedi training so far. My parents and any one who's ever had the misfortune of dating me all know that I am BEYOND picky. I've tried pretty much every food that sounds good to me. So the idea of first of all, trying to find a new food in Springfield and then forcing myself to eat it, just didn't seem like a pleasurable endeavor. I know, I know, I'm a hedonist. I know, I know, I'm picky and stuck in my ways. Thanks.

So what did I do? Ohhh I sort of cheated. Dr. Finch returned from Germany and brought back some wonderful Deustch schokolade for me. Yeah, I've had chocolate before but it was German chocolate! That counts...right? Damn.

Day 4: Make it your goal to shake some ones hand today.
Thanks to the swine flu, no one would touch me. I guess the training technically states "make it your goal" so I didn't totally fail on this one.

Day 5: Give someone a compliment.
I never realized just how sarcastic I am 95% of the time in my interactions with other people. Sheesh Lindsey. Matt was gracious enough to allow me to use a compliment from the day before to count for this one. You should try giving out random compliments sometime, it's honestly not easy.

(Speaking of Matt, you should definitely check out his blog. Both the Jedi training and the rest of what he writes are insightful and entertaining)

Day 6: Try to make some one laugh
On a normal day, this would not even make me bat an eye. I secretly delight in forcing customers into polite laughter on a daily basis at the Pier. However, I'm in a mood today. I believe Matt used the term "kill-joy." Needless to say, this may prove a bit of a challenge. You should leave me your best stupid joke in the comments section so maybe I have a fighting chance at this one.

Jedi Training: Day 2

2009-09-26T16:21:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was day two of the epic GA Jedi endeavor, and as part of the training Matt and I had to reveal something to someone that they didn't already know about us. Sounds easy enough right?

I sat there racking my brain, trying to think of something to share. The best I could come up with?

Peas. I hate peas.

My parents are probably the only people who know just how much peas disgust me, so I shared that with the other GAs and my Facebook posse.

Immediately I second guessed myself.

Was that enough? Should I have dug down deeper and found something truly meaningful to confess? Do I actually have anything down deep I could confess? Am I really that boring of a person? Peas? PEAS? Gah. Could I think of anything more stupid to say out loud? Come on Lindsey! Fail.

Hmm. I'd better watch my attitude or I'm going to come out of this 21 days a Sith. ;-)

Do or Do Not, There is No Try

2009-09-23T22:17:00.002-05:00

I have decided to become a Jedi.

No, really. It's legit.

Today while looking for ways to make my Religion in America lecture more hip and happenin' for the youngsters, I remembered an article that Tim showed me on Consumerist. As it turns out, the founder of the UK Jedi Church (Jedi name: Morda Hehol) has recently become the center of a religious discrimination outcry. I decided to add this story to my lecture, and then fellow graduate assistant Matt and I decided to take it one step further.

Currently, we're in training to obtain the apprentice level of Jedidom (Jediship? Hrmm...). The training spans 21 days, each day there is a different goal to obtain. In order to make it work logistically, Matt and I will be doing our training on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays since that's when we're both in the office. We'll also be posting the goals and our progress, day by day up on the wall above Matt's desk. If you're in the office you should stop by and check it out.

Today's goal was to learn something new. While Matt went the route of opening the paper, I did a random search on Wikipedia and learned that Paul Pate is a former secretary of the state of Iowa. Pretty cool.

You should check out Matt's blog for his perspective on our Jedi training, and just because he's cool. You're also welcome to join us if the Force moves you to do so.

May the Force be with you. Wish us luck!

Wait a second...

2009-09-18T14:31:00.004-05:00

This past Wednesday afternoon, I wandered into Dr. Finch's office. I had a few things to discuss with her before she leaves for Germany next week and I take over the class. Towards the end of the conversation I realized I should probably talk to her about the paper I'll be writing for her "Religion and the Body" class, so when she asked me what sorts of ideas I had, I popped out with this:

"Well I'm thinking about something that will apply to my thesis...so maybe, um, analyzing the use of Jesus' body in 'The Passion of the Christ.' You know, blood and gore and stuff..."

*cue the screeching tires*

Don't I hate that movie? Doesn't that movie make me bawl and cringe and make snuff film jokes?

It's like my subconscious was playing a mean joke. I didn't even think about that statement before it plopped out of my mouth. While I'm not required to write about that idea by any means, I can't help but wonder why I came up with it. I refuse to admit that I subconsciously like Mel Gibson's divine gore-fest.

I think it'll be an interesting paper topic, so I'll try to stick with it and see where it goes, but I honestly have such a hard time with actually purchasing that movie that my research may involve a little pirating.

Just when you think that you're in control,
Just when you think that you've got a hold,
Just when you get on a roll,
Here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again.

If I had a hammer...

2009-08-15T14:49:00.004-05:00

I've been making a lot of things lately. (Yeah yeah yeah Suzie Homemaker, etc....) In addition to the usual cupcakes, I made yogurt, granola and my own dish soap, and Tim and I made dog treats, pickles, frozen yogurt and triple ginger cookies. Soon, we'll attempt string cheese and then who knows what adventure awaits!? My camera is AWOL or else there would be pictures of these wonderful creations...so sad.

All that aside, perhaps the most important thing we've made these past couple weeks is a house. Well, not just the two of us, but lots of people. Last Saturday I joined lots of other volunteers out at the Missouri Sports Hall of Fame to start working on a "Women Build" blitz build home for a local family. Later in the week Natalie and Tim joined me. We nailed up sheathing, braced the attic's 2x4s, nailed up insulation and taped it, and painted the interior. It was exhausting, but fun. Working with Habitat for Humanity has always been something I've enjoyed, and I hope to be able to continue to volunteer on weekends during the school year!

And because words are so boring, here are some pictures:

The house will be moved to a neighborhood up north after the blitz build is finished

Natalie apparently does not want to be painted....

Tim's quite the trooper, and I'm sure he can't wait to wear his "Women at Work" shirt!

saturday morning silliness

2009-06-27T00:41:00.003-05:00

large americans
can i really fit through there?
quick take a picture

way up on the roof
fat lady screams down the slide
i want a snowcone

mr. mustache
she looks way too hot for you
is she a hooker?

friday morning frivolity

2009-06-26T02:17:00.005-05:00

yay caipirinha
orange honey lime goodness
thank goodness for friends

grow up already
it's always the same story
one day it's your turn

yeah, read into this
a talking future monkey
only says "ficus"

thursday morning thoughts

2009-06-25T00:00:00.000-05:00

sugar over-load
but dang the "cupcakes" are cute
calling from my fridge

lindsey is tired
wiped out from a long long day
what's with the porch light?

haiku is a breeze
thanks how many syllables
dot com! so useful

---

Natalie and I "cupcaked" today. Really they're almost petit fours, but that's just semantics. In these little devils- white cake, cream cheese frosting, chocolate almond bark bases and candy coating on top. Ohhhhh the sugar! They're for a baby shower Natalie is throwing tomorrow night, and I think they'll be a big hit. In case you're curious to see what a professional version of these are supposed to look like, here's the link. I think they're not bad for a first try!

wednesday morning workings

2009-06-24T02:06:00.001-05:00

raspberry syrup
for homemade latte, of course
bye bye starbucks

orange, strawberry
pineapple fresh squeezed juice. oh!
god bless jack lalane

hey internet girl,
guys prefer you hard to get
and cheer up charlie.

tuesday morning twitterings

2009-06-23T00:31:00.003-05:00

knitting, knitting yarn
watching true blood on tv
waste of a morning

throwing a small fit
throwing my cellular phone
i need to eat more

buffalo wild wings
hey over-friendly waitress,
where is my water?

monday morning misgivings

2009-06-22T01:24:00.004-05:00

dear angry lady-
your discount is in my hands
it isn't worth it

i won't mark it down
yes i am the manager
see? i have keys

please don't yell at us
i should get paid more for this
i need some candy

sunday morning schadenfreude

2009-06-21T01:36:00.004-05:00

sleepy springfield street
lights flashing red and yellow
wait, that one is green

car going wrong way
this is a one-way street
the bars have closed

oh good there's a cop
the lights flashing blue and red
i get a giggle

Lindsey Lessons #4

2009-06-19T01:46:00.003-05:00

Lindsey really likes feeling like a bad ass.

Using powertools (like tonight at work) or the rare occasion that she has a weapon in her hand bring her untold delight. But she would never actually hurt anyone or cause any major destruction.

No, really.

Lindsey Lessons #3

2009-06-18T01:17:00.001-05:00

Lindsey now has a taser in her nightstand.

If you sleep-over on her futon, you probably shouldn't startle her if you get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night.

It has a laser sight. :-)

Lindsey Lessons #2

2009-06-17T11:11:00.001-05:00

Lindsey really likes cheese. I mean REALLY likes cheese.

A wedge of gouda, hunk of colby jack or slice of herbed goat cheese can ward off any bad mood.

Unfortunately Lindsey's stomach doesn't like dairy products, so use at your own discretion.

Lindsey Lessons #1

2009-06-16T12:00:00.002-05:00

More often than not, if Lindsey is crying she probably just needs a hug.

She may also be stressed because she's hungry or has had too much sugar, so it's possible she needs a veggie corn dog AND a hug.

Environmentalism to Die For

2009-02-21T19:44:00.004-06:00

In my random internet roaming today I stumbled across a really cool article on CNN. An avid scuba diver who passed away from cancer had her cremated remains made into an artificial coral reef. Reading this article and looking at other "green funeral" options really got me thinking about death and what I want to happen to my body. I don't plan on dying any time soon, nor do I have any desire to die, but it's just one of those things that intrigues me. Hmm...I never realized just how morbid my curiosity really is.

A ridiculous amount of concrete (millions of tons), embalming chemicals and wood are buried every year, and I don't care to have any part of that. Not to mention the fact that I'm always a little creeped out when I drive past cemeteries knowing that people are rotting in really pretty boxes not that far apart from each other. *shudder*

So entertain my morbid thought experiment for a moment here...
What would my ideal funeral/burial look like?
(Let's assume I've died at age 105 in a motorcycle accident.)

First of all, no black. I want everyone to wear purple. A whole freakin' sea of purple. And there will be an open bar with good wine and beer, because nothing goes better with grief than an organic pinot grigio. I want the funeral part to be brief, with a slide show of pictures from my 105 glorious years set to Beatles music. I want several of my friends/children/grandchildren to offer up their favorite funny stories about me in lieu of a eulogy, and then my 103 year-old brother can tell our favorite family joke-
---
A man dies and goes to heaven where God meets him at the Pearly Gates.

"Welcome!" God says. "Before we let you in, there's a little test. You need to answer three questions. First of all, where are you?"

"Oh that's easy!" the man says. "Heaven."

"Very good! Second question- who am I?" God asks.

"Duh! You're God!"

"Good job! One final question- what is my son's name?"

"That's easy!" the man replies. "Andy!"

"Andy?" God asks.

"Yeah! You know the song- 'Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own!"
---
And then, just as everyone is starting to get it, the big band at my funeral will launch into the song. (My family can hardly make it through church services/ funerals when we have to sing "In the Garden" without jabbing each other with elbows and quietly giggling. Sacreligious!)

Ideally there won't be a burial service because I'll be cremated. Instead, I'd like my ashes to be placed in the firepit at Inspiration Point at Tall Oaks. That way when the kids are eating their roasted marshmallows, I live on indefinitely! Okay if that's a little too weird for who ever is responsible for dealing with my remains, then I want a white cardboard coffin that everyone can write messages on like this one.

After I've been laid to rest somewhere, I want everyone else to spend the rest of the evening drinking, dancing and enjoying one another's company. Then, I think I could truly rest in peace.

Tickled Pink

2009-02-04T15:03:00.005-06:00

An oh so witty friend of mine from high school, Kayla (who loves her multi-grain tortillas), interviewed me for her insightful, entertaining and charming blog entitled Oh, Messy Life.

I'm pretty stoked that it's posted.

You should go check it out!

PS: Kayla- I could totally still be an ear model. I rock that scar!

25 Things

2009-02-02T19:02:00.002-06:00

This annoying note trend is flying around Facebook, so I thought I'd double post it just for fun.

25 Random Things About Let it be Lindsey-

I did this in order to keep myself awake during class. Which class? I’m not telling.

1. I’m a huge nerd and I really enjoy being in school. I am especially enjoying my classes this semester.
2. As much as I enjoy religious studies, I miss studying American Sign Language.
3. When I get tipsy I teach people dirty signs.
4. I’ve moved something like eight times.
5. Living in the same place for longer than five years sounds simultaneously terrifying and appealing.
6. I Facebook my students. It’s mildly entertaining.
7. I can count to ten in six languages. Wait, scratch that…five languages. I can’t count beyond five in Japanese now.
8. The scar on my chin has faded, and that makes me sad. It used to be such a conversation piece.
9. My favorite role I’ve ever played was Cookie in “Rumors”
10. I’ve been in the Vagina Monologues 4 times now, directed it once and am doing a monologue this year for the second time.
11. I have several irrational fears: fish, homeless people in garbage dumpsters and closed shower curtains.
12. If I got a tattoo it would either be a white rabbit or “Quid es veritas?” (What is truth?)
13. I enjoy the fluidity of how people perceive my political/religious beliefs. At William Woods I was a liberal, at Drury I was anything but a real feminist, at KU I was a conservative and now I’m back to crazy liberal status at MSU.
14. I love listening to NPR on Saturday mornings.
15. I listen to conservative talk radio because it allows me to yell at someone about their political beliefs without hurting anyone’s feelings.
16. I think I would look hot driving an Audi R8.
17. I could live on breakfast food and dessert.
18. I’ve declared Tuesday “Cross-Stitch Tuesday” because I don’t have classes that day. You are welcome to come cross-stitch with me if you wish.
19. I’m starting to think I should have taken more philosophy classes during my undergrad.
20. So far I’m two for two with my pregnancy psychic-ness.
21. I want to star in a Quentin Tarantino film.
22. I’ve dated a variety of types, but honestly I prefer blondes and red-heads.
23. Having said that, if things don’t work out with Chris I’m selling my worldly possessions, moving to England and doing everything I can to get Prince Harry to notice me!
24. A Jack and Coke and a fruity flavored Swisher Sweet taste like some of my best camp memories.
25. I once won a look-alike contest with my Shih Tzu, Leia. We lost "Best in Show" to a ball python. :-\

What a lovely waste of time!

Leia looks less than impressed with our win-

The Dolorous Passion of a Religious Studies Graduate Student

2009-01-25T19:50:00.001-06:00

I did it.
I watched The Passion of the Christ.

I wish I could say I had some conclusive "A-ha!" moment where I realized precisely (and concisely) what it is that bothers me about that movie, but even after mulling it over in my mind for a few days I don't completely have it figured out.

Class discussions have been interesting. Wednesday we discussed Mel Gibson's Catholicism and Friday saw us arguing over the presence of anti-semitism in the movie. As much as people try to keep personal opinions out of it, we all show our cards on a regular basis and sometimes I can feel a bit of a flare in tensions (mine included). Monday should be interesting as we discuss why Evangelical Christians like such a Catholic movie so much.

So here are my chief complaints (which I'm sure I will be unable to keep to myself tomorrow)-

1) This movie does not portray what I PERSONALLY feel are the best attributes/facets of the Jesus story, and therefore I don't see how it would serve as a "witnessing tool". Perhaps it was my liberal Protestant upbringing, but I see emphasis on peace, love and caring for others as much more attractive to non-Christians. Instead what the movie brings is guilt, gore and Satan (with a devil baby?).

2) Jesus is Gibson's typical hyper-masculine hero. Takes a beating and stands back up, in a way saying "up yours" to the drunken stupid Roman torturers. I'm really surprised Gibson didn't play Jesus himself. Also, Jesus isn't shown as the sort of political rebel/threat that he was and therefore winds up looking like an innocent lamb being led to the slaughter. The blame is put upon the manipulative Sanhedrin who cajole the impotent Roman officials to do their dirty work. The true political climate of the time period is in no way accurately represented.

And finally, 3) The majority of the movie is based on extra-biblical sources (such as the Catholic Stations of the Cross) and Anne Catherine Emmerich’s “The Dolorous Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ.” She was a 19th century “mystic, stigmatist, visionary, and prophet“ and Gibson didn’t need to write a screenplay for the movie as she had pretty much already done it for him. If you don’t believe me, you can check it out for yourself.

So maybe, just maybe if you said to me "Hey do you want to watch this movie with me? It's a slightly anti-semitic passion play-esque film told from the point of view of Mary based on a vision had by an 19th century stigmatist and it's hard core gory!" I might say yes.

But call it a "powerful witnessing tool" or "the way it really was," and you might have to start calling me "Doubting Thomas."

I don't know if any of that really makes any sense, but who cares because Big Love is about to come on and I have better, juicer things to concentrate on. ;)

Rated R for Sequences of Graphic Violence

2009-01-18T19:38:00.004-06:00

I'm procrastinating, so of course I'm blogging.

I need to watch The Passion of the Christ before Wednesday and, as the whole class discovered last week, I am none too thrilled. Mel Gibson's crazy movie aside, I am very excited about my Religion and Popular Culture class. However, I always forget that not everyone knows me and/or understands my sense of humor. Needless to say I think I mortified 20-some people into stunned silence by calling this audacious Aramaic adventure in the fine art of flogging a "snuff film."

Later on the phone I tried to argue with my mom that I just don't enjoy watching violent movies. She quickly reminded me that I do in fact like violent movies. Yeeeaaaahhh so Fight Club, Grindhouse, Pulp Fiction, V for Vendetta, The Matrix, Kill Bill and American History X are all some of my favorite movies. Yes, I love watching Dexter.

That doesn't mean I like to watch chunks of someone's flesh come flying off, especially not when people see it as "such a powerful movie". I just don't get it. But maybe it's more than violence, maybe there's something else that bothers me. I just can't put my finger on it quite yet.

So tomorrow (not tonight because the Big Love season 3 premiere just started) I will once again watch "The Passion" and expect a full update when I figure out exactly what it is that bothers me.

They Don't Look Like Presbyterians to Me...

2008-10-15T23:39:00.004-05:00

Oh wait, I take that back...they really really do.

So I'll admit, I chickened out a bit when it came down to which congregation to choose to profile for my Congregations in the Ozarks class. I wanted to do the small Buddhist group that meets on Saturdays, or the Unitarian Universalists but I got a little worried that I wouldn't be able to observe enough to cover the requirements for the class.

I played it safe and picked the large Presbyterian church right off Missouri State's campus. Considering that the majority my classmates are observing more evangelical, Pentecostal and liberal churches, I thought it might be good to provide the more mainline conservative balance.

I was Presbyterian for about 3 years of my life, but I was young and I really only remember how cool it was to be one of the acolytes. We'd wear these big black robes that flapped as we charged down the aisles with the flames...but I digress. :-)

This past week we were to observe the music in the congregation, both choral and instrumental. I went to the traditional service, so as you can imagine the music was just that- traditional. Needless to say my report to the class was rather boring compared to one of my fellow students who is observing a church (James River Assembly) that has a huge worship team (guitars, drums, singers, horn section, strings...etc...).

I think in a way I've looked down on worship services that are too contemporary. They seem too...anti-intellectual? But I realize now just how much music affects my personal worship experience. Some of my most powerful and emotional spiritual experiences involve more contemporary songs (Doubting Thomas, Be Still, etc.) It's a little hard for me to find the Divine trudging through all 4 verses of "We Give Thee But Thine Own".

But maybe I'm just one of those young whipper snappers who can't appreciate tradition.

I'm going to try and attend the contemporary service next time to get a better perspective on the worship spectrum at the church. Should be interesting to compare and contrast the traditional and the contemporary. They have a pretty large youth program with a college section, so I'm also looking forward to interviewing some of the younger members on what it means to them to be Presbyterian.

This field experience thing sort of has me hooked...I might become a professional church tourist after this semester is over. :-)

When the Anti-Christ comes, I'm headed to Alaska...

2008-09-16T11:37:00.004-05:00

(My eyes are dilated. I look like an alien. I can't really read my homework for tonight, so I'm blogging instead. Forgive any glaring typos.)

I don't like to think of myself as a "one issue voter".
I also don't like the idea that I would vote for one candidate because I really really reeeaaaally don't like (and am slightly scared of ) the other.

I think I'm just going to have to get used to it.

I'm a firm believer in the separation of church and state. I'm not saying our leaders should be atheists (though that wouldn't be a bad thing in my book) but rather that religious beliefs and affiliations should not play a role on the campaign trail or in the White House. Religion should be a personal, private matter...not foreign policy.

So you've probably figured out by now how I feel about Sarah Palin. Third wave evangelicalism is scary enough by itself, yet alone in a potential leader of this country. By now you've probably seen the video of her speaking to the church she grew up in in Wasilla. (If not check out Part 1 and Part 2) She talks about God leading America into and through the Iraq War, about the soldiers doing God's work and about praying for the oil pipeline. Her pastor mentions God working in Alaska and that when the "end times" come, Alaska is going to be a refuge when people flee the lower 48.

Ugh.

It took my Religion in America class (mostly freshmen) waaaay too long to figure out that McCain's move was "brilliant" according to my professor because of the evangelical vote. Instead they threw out answers like "She's a historical first!" (um...Geraldine Ferraro?) and "Now women who wanted to vote for Hilary have someone to vote for!"

I have never bit my lip so hard.

I think I need to get a couple of these shirts and wear them to class until November.
I want youth to get out there and vote, but not if they're going to be dumb about it.

In other news- I love these! I mean, what religion major doesn't need ear gauges with Jesus on them?

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble When you're perfect in every way...

2008-07-11T18:50:00.003-05:00

Most things in my life I'm just sort of good at- I've never really had to try hard at school, I'm marginally musically inclined, I pick things up quickly. But roller derby is a humbling experience. I'm not really the worst girl out there, but I'm no where near the best. However I feel the drive to work harder, to push myself and to get better.

Now that I have my full gear, it's so much easier to push myself and last night something inside of me just clicked. I was racing around the circular track during drills, passing girls who have been doing this for longer than I have. My cross overs were smooth and well timed. During a drill called "Human Slalom" I was giving and taking some pretty hard hits. I realized what athletes mean when they say they're in "The Zone".

By the time we got to the last drill of the night, time trials, I was feeling pretty bad-ass if I do say so myself. During my first trial I completed the 2 laps in 0:22:59...the fastest was 19 something and the slowest was 27 seconds, so I was feeling good. But then came my second attempt...

Half way through my brain, my ego, something, kicked in. "Oh yeah I'm going to do this better than anyone else. Psshhh 22 seconds? I can shave like 2 off that no problem. Look at me!...blah blah blah, etc..."

Next thing I know, my right skate flies out from under me and I am desperately trying to get back in control of my legs. I barely flounder over the finish line (coming in at 24 something) before completely losing it and falling flat on my butt in front of both the newbie coach and the head coach.

Gasps of "Oh no!" and "Are you okay?" followed by hands extended to try and pick me up, but noooooo! My ego just won't let me accept help and I spring (painfully) up and sprint skate off the rink.
"Yeah yeah I'm fine. Haha! Totally meant to do that!" as the pain sears through my rear end. Hmm I really hope I'm not bleeding.

I limped my way to coffee with Mary at the Mudhouse and after I got home, I spent the rest of the evening icing down my back side.

The pain keeps me in the moment, reminds me I'm alive, but more than anything the pain is a reminder that I need to approach my life with humility and presence and breath...and ice packs.

Life is good.

Third Time's a Charm...

2008-07-10T23:59:00.000-05:00

Scene: Interior, office, day. Our heroine sits in front of a desk, holding a Panera to-go cup. Across the desk is The Boss, late thirties, blonde, holding a pen and reading from a piece of paper.

I was written up at work today.

This is my third write up since getting re-hired at the Pier over a year ago. I'll admit it, I deserved that first one. I went to work hung over on a Sunday morning, sat on the counter, and got busted when Austin watched the security tape. No biggie.

But since starting at the Springfield store on June 4th, I've been written up twice for failure to get enough people to sign up for the store's credit card. My boss today was trying to motivate me, guilt me even, into giving the hard sell. She tried to convince me that getting people to open the card was the only way to help save people money during this recession, we aren't doing it for the store, we're doing it for the customers.

What my boss didn't know is exactly 30 minutes before she paged me to the office, I decided to stop judging myself by other people's standards. I cause myself so much mental distress by trying to compare myself to other people. So what if I have friends who have been married now for a year or more? So what if I didn't go to seminary? So what if some people don't think I'm getting a "real degree"? So what if I don't get 1 IC for every 35 transactions? This job, other people's standards and relationships, they don't (and won't) define me.

I pay attention to my customers, I give them ideas and help them materialize their "dream rooms". My customer service ability is excellent. I actually care about the people who walk in to the store and I don't want to see them rack up thousands of dollars of debt with a 25% interest rate. Don't get me wrong, I really really really like being employed, but I have a hard time forcing something on people who possibly can't afford it. When you say "Oh no I have too much debt already" to me, I take you seriously.

I made a loud sucking noise as I decimated the last of the iced tea in my cup, smiled and signed my name on the write-up sheet. Is it August yet?

End scene.

Oh, wouldn't the world seem dull and flat with nothing whatever to grumble at? ~W.S. Gilbert

2008-06-27T11:29:00.004-05:00

I started to write a different blog entry, but suddenly this one popped in to my mind.

I can't help but wonder why it is that we complain.

And I don't mean the sort of complaining like "There's a fly in my soup", but the just straight up nothing you can really do about it complain.

I was sitting here poised to write an entry about how working retail sucks because you have to work weekends and it's difficult to take off the amount of work I need to do the things I want to and I don't get to see my family or travel to KC on the 4th of July because I have to work 'til 6:30 and I just didn't sleep well last night because of weird dreams and I ate horribly yesterday so my body feels off and ugh!

But honestly none of those things are really bothering me that much, none of those items are going to ruin my life or even really mess up today...so why complain?

Is it sympathy? Do I want you to say "Aww poor Lindsey, come here and have some ice cream and I'll make it all better"? No probably not, because I hate it when people do that (as Gabriel found out by my reaction yesterday). So the question remains...

I'm beginning to think we complain to make a connection. I noticed this last night at work. One of my co-workers said to me "Ugh I hate the pillow wall" and my immediate response was "Oh I know! Straighten it up all you like but it will always be messy!" The pillow wall is inconsequential, but now I have a connection with that co-worker- we hate the pillow wall.

So what would it look like to form connections with people on the basis of something other than complaining?

I think that falls nicely under my "right speech" goal. I'll get back to you...

In other news, my nose is making a weird clicking noise when I breathe, much like the noise my cell phone makes right before it rings. It's making me jumpy, but giving me a whole new reason to laugh and not take myself so seriously. :-)

Mini-Photo Blog: Two Reasons

2008-06-25T00:01:00.002-05:00

Here are two big reasons why I love my family.

Reason #1: My grandparents kick ass.

Me-Me and Grandaddy- Staying married for 60 years and still being in love and each other's best friend is pretty amazing. (Me-Me swears they were married in the second grade!) And while we may not always agree on our politics, they've done some really great things with their lives- fighting in a world war, surviving the Depression in the Dust Bowl, raising a couple of great kids and grandchildren and oh yeah...that thing called a "power hour" that Me-Me keeps telling me about.

Taken at their 60th wedding anniversary reception- June 8, 2008

Grandma and Grandpa- Having been married almost 51 years and raising the real life equivalent of The Family Circus, Grandma and Grandpa Arnold kick ass as well. While I haven't heard any crazy drinking stories from either of them, Grandpa served in Korea and Grandma is the ultimate example of hospitality and service, holding a spot on the school board and volunteering with the church. You will never go hungry or hug-less at either grandparent's house, and that I love.

I hope I can have a marriage as successful and strong as theirs are some day.

Reason #2: My parents kick ass. If ever in my childhood I screamed "I hate you" and slammed the door to my room, I'm sorry. I'm realizing more and more lately how nice it is to have two loving, supporting parents who will embrace your new crazy hobbies (derby) or eating habits, pick up the phone when you call past 11:00 crying over a boy, listen to your newest religion/philosophy phase as it comes pouring out of your mouth the minute you step in the door, support you when you decide to transfer schools (again), do their best to make the new house feel like home and all the while never lose their sense of humor or their ability to have fun with us kids.

Thanks Mom and Dad. I love you.

My line in the sand, when I go too far...

2008-06-22T23:03:00.004-05:00

At 2 am this morning Grief found me sleepless. And I, not being strong enough or really caring enough to fight, let it crawl right into bed with me...I even scooted over so it could have more room (metaphorically speaking). Really, what's a girl to do?

I woke up this morning feeling scattered. I originally intended to go to derby practice but, longing for something vaguely familiar, I headed to church. Of course I never really find what it is I think I'm looking for...but maybe, just maybe something will speak to me.

The usual minister was gone, so a different worship leader was giving the sermon this morning. She spoke about Genesis chapter 22, in which God asks Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac. I won't take the time to pick apart her sermon, but it wasn't a sermon...it was a personal struggle with understanding a difficult verse. I don't blame her.

As I'm sitting there listening to her talk about how we blame God for violence, how we project our own horrible actions and tendencies on to God, how we abuse our children in God's name...etc...all I can think is-

You're missing the point! This is the ultimate story of letting go! God promised Abraham a multitude of descendants, but only after he was willing to give up his only son with Sarah. It's only after he was willing to lose everything that he gained it. He let go.

All I can think is-

Oh.
Let go.
In some way isn't that the message of the cross?
Let go.
Let go.

Let it be, Lindsey.
Let it be.

The Day I Almost Killed 3 People With a Carton of Homestyle Orange JuiceOR My over-dramatic bike ride to the grocery store

2008-06-14T13:17:00.003-05:00

I was never really able to ride my bike as much as I wanted to when I lived in Lawrence, partly because of the hills but mostly because I'm out of shape. So when I realized I'd be moving to a mostly flat city with lots of stores within biking distance, I was definitely excited.

It's nice out today (no torrential downpours like yesterday) so I decided to make a quick trip to the grocery store. I own a commuter bike (complete with fenders, a platform on the back and a nifty bell with a compass) and I'd purchased a collapsible basket to put on the back, so I figured this was the perfect day to try it out.

My ride to Dillon's went quite smoothly, only taking about 5 minutes. I looked all eco-friendly cruising along with my re-usable shopping bags. Ha! Take that gas-guzzling SUVs, I'm saving the environment! As I locked up my bike I decided to rock the wind-blown slightly glowing look because hey, "green" is in.

I proceeded through Dillon's according to my usual routine- searching for organic and Asian foods they never have, buying way more than is on my list and even though it says "15 items or less" and I have more like 30, going through the self-check-out.

Loading my canvas bag into the basket on the back of my bike, I prematurely applauded myself for a job well done. "See Lindsey? It's easy being green!" I managed to get everything balanced, threw my produce bag over my shoulder and headed back towards home. Everything was going swimmingly until I was half-way out of the parking lot.

You see, I was a little apprehensive about permanently attaching anything to my bike, so I'd used the elastic strap from the back platform to secure the basket. Oops. The basket didn't just slowly slide over, it violently fell to the side, throwing my groceries at a elderly woman walking by.

This happened two more times before I finally gave up, hung my bag over the handlebars and walked my sorry butt home.

I'm melting like my frozen corn. Wilting like my baby spinach. Ego bruised like those blueberries...

Silly bike basket, you haven't defeated me. We're so not finished...

Art is in the eye of the beholder...Part 2

2008-05-28T00:00:00.000-05:00

I'm going to ride this creative wave as long as I can...

Today was excellent. After some Tums and a 30 minute car ride soothed over my greasy, slightly awkward Chinese lunch, Gabriel and I hit Mass Street to actualize our dream. If you followed Lindsey in Lawrence last summer, you'll remember Gabriel and I recorded a couple of flute/guitar duets of Beatles songs.

Today we camped out on Mass Street in front of Ben and Jerry's to play a live set for about 45 minutes. We had a few people stop and listen, took a request for "Eleanor Rigby" for a cute girl in a stroller, played "Can't Buy Me Love" at least 3 times and made friends with a bum. Ahh Lawrence.

At the end of our jam session we'd made $8.11! Not bad...more than the average associate makes at Pier 1 per hour, I'll take it. It was 2-for-1 Tuesday at La Prima Tazza coffee shop, so we spent $5 on an iced tea, a black forest mocha and a cookie, gave a buck to a homeless veteran on the street and saved a dollar a piece for nostalgia.

This evening I found myself with another blank canvas and the concluding part of A&E's "Andromeda Strain" was on, so after some encouragement from Gabe I decided to make a third piece to go in the middle of the two splatter painted ones. I think I'll put them above my bed once I move into the new apartment.

I've always loved what the lotus symbolizes, and I think it's very appropriate for my fresh start in Springfield.

I'm a little afraid I may have developed a painting habit.
Donations of canvases will be accepted!

I need to figure out what to name these pieces. Perhaps "Andromeda Spoon"? ;-)

Art is in the eye of the beholder...right?

2008-05-26T23:26:00.002-05:00

I am so not an artist, nor will I ever claim to be.

Having said that, tonight I tried my hand at painting. Since my plans for this week sorta got...dumped, I picked up some cheap paint, brushes and canvases at Michael's. I am going to need some art for my room in Springfield, so I thought it might be fun to make it myself.

This first one I made while watching the TV remake of "Andromeda Strain" (jury's still out on that one). It's my favorite flower, my favorite colors and almost turned out okay.

If I had to psychologically analyze the individual who made this painting, I'd say they were a control freak who is just a little stressed out. :-)

I had two more canvases left, so I painted one black and started conceptualizing this blooming lotus emanating light and beauty...blah blah blah I was setting myself up for failure. In a moment of frustration, I went all abstract expressionist on the canvas with some coral paint. What followed was a three minute and twenty four second release set to Spoon's "The Underdog" which just happened to be on my iTunes at the time.

Now it's no Jackson Pollock, I'll be the first to admit. And given the colors I had on hand, it wound up looking like an early nineties sneaker ad. But it was an experiment in letting go and not being so uptight.

I might keep them...I might paint over them, we'll see. It was really enjoyable though. Yeah that's all I had.

Bring on the Men!

2008-05-24T03:14:00.003-05:00

A strange thing has happened.
For the first time in eight years, I am completely single.
No boyfriend, no guy that I'm seeing, no one on the side, no one waiting in the wings.

Everyone keeps saying "Oh that's great! You need a break! You need to be single!..etc..."
I know, thank you. I feel the same way. But it's sort of like quitting smoking in that it has just become a (bad) habit, it's what I do. So it's slightly fear-inducing when I realize that habit is gone...cold turkey and completely beyond my control.

So I could sit here and mope, I could listen to "The Last Five Years" soundtrack and cry silently into my no-bake cookies, I could even do my empowering "Defying Gravity" shower solo, but where's the fun in that? So here we go- my Hall of Fame/Shame:

If I wrote it out, it would go something like this:
PatrickNickPatrickGrantNickKevinNickPatrick
JoshPatrickJoshCaseyCoffeyPatrickRyanGrant
KevinGabrielMarkShawn
(I know that's not everyone, but I thought I'd just hit the highlights/anyone who lasted longer than 3 dates. Sorry Frazz. )

Just the sight of that makes me giggle. Oh but why stop there? Let's add some pictures (the most unflattering ones I can find) and some hard learned lessons.

Patrick
(He's the one on the left. I had to dig and dig to find a picture of him and this is the only one I could come up with. :-) Perfect!)

Patrick was my first kiss/love/camp boyfriend who just wouldn't go away. He taught me how to be outgoing and how to love life. He also taught me why sometimes people should break up and stay broken up, and why I will never let my 15 year old daughter date a 19 year old. I'll spare her that heartache and the awkward "I love you" drunk dials.
Current status: Married and has a kid.

Nick
Nick was another on again off again boy in high school. Another camp boy, this one happened to be the youth minister's son which made it all the more scandalous when we made out on mission trips. I acquired the nickname "Stretch" on our first mission trip, and I don't think I've ever heard him use my real name since.
Nick taught me that a lot of jerks reside in Lawrence and that you should make sure you know who you're talking to on the phone, lest you accidentally make a date with your youth minister.
Current status: Married and living in Lawrence (and in a year here, I've only once awkwardly ran in to his wife...*whew*)

Grant
Another guy another scandal, Grant and I caused a ruckus on Valentine's Day. Kat had a crush on him, and I dated him despite the fact (I'm still sorry about that). Grant taught me how to drink too much, why I shouldn't pick up my phone after 2am (unless Pancake wants to hear crying) and that sometimes when you wake up on the floor of a house in Smithville, it really is just a big yellow dog licking your face.
Current status:Denver?

Kevin
It all started with girls crying in the bathroom at a church camp dance because he and I were swapping spit on the dance floor. Classy, I know. Kevin taught me the fun and difficulty of dating someone prettier than you-plenty of time spent looking in the mirror (You probably think this blog entry is about you...don't you?).

It's a fun thing when two actors get together- dramatic scenes get acted out. If I remember correctly the last one involved Camus, crying and a longing look over his shoulder as he walked out the door.
Current status: Acting in New York

Josh
Big lesson learned here: If it didn't work when he dated your good friend, and you didn't like the way he treated her...it's not going to work with you. But hey, the BBQ/artichokes were awesome.

Also, a lesson I obviously didn't learn this time: Long distance relationships suck.
Current status: Hanging out in Kansas City

Casey Coffey
Lesson learned: If a cute guy from Edmond Oklahoma falls asleep next to you on a flight from OKC to STL, go ahead and date him. He'll also provide you with tickets to see Ron Jeremy debate a feminist, a date to Delta Queen and a very awkward situation watching the KSU v. OU Big 12 Championship game. Date someone who thinks you're a bit weird, "Donnie Darko" will never be the same.
Current status: On the beach in Florida...so jealous!

Ryan (aka RP)
(He looks thrilled in this picture because I'm dressed up as his ex-girlfriend for Halloween)
Ryan was my escape from the sorority house, my spicy chicken sandwich, and coming in at just over 2 years, the longest relationship I ever had. We're psychic ear buddies and apparently knew each other in a past life.
Ryan taught me magic tricks (at 3 am), film editing and that it is possible to be friends with someone after you've broken up.
Current status: Acting in Hollywood

Gabriel
Gabriel, Gabriel, Gabriel...after high school crushes and a year of platonic dates, we finally tried to give a relationship a go. We endured long distance, power outages and an existential crisis or two. Gabriel taught me compassion, and that even if you think you're weird or a nerd about something, there is always someone out there who will love you in spite of (or for) it.
Current status: He's off to Japan to teach English and fall in love with a harajuku girl. Gambate! ;-)

Mark
(I'm hesitant to write anything here, lest I get a facebook message telling me to take it down ;-) )
Perhaps its too early to tell the full scope of what I learned from our time together, but my experience with Mark taught me to drink red wine, to really love and enjoy the family of the person I'm with and most importantly not to go into a relationship running on fumes. Oh and it is nice to have something to come home to, even if it is just a hamster.
Current status: I'm sure he's riding his bike and drinking excessive amounts of coffee somewhere in Springfield.

Shawn
The most recent and slightly accidental addition to the list is Shawn. He reminded me how to laugh and how to have fun again. He also taught me how to make sock puppets. I learned that the consequences of honesty, while not always instantaneously desirable, are probably better in the long run. And now, I'm learning how to walk away. Maybe the next time I'll learn to keep my mouth shut and my dignity intact. ;-)
Current status: Making his way to Chicago to do improv. Watch for this one on SNL in a few years...

So there you have it ladies and gentlemen, the last eight years of my life.
Having typed that all out, I realize just how much I do need a break.
I never thought being single would be such a relief.

I want to forget how conviction fits

2008-05-15T11:25:00.004-05:00

Currently stuck in my head-

"The Underdog" by Spoon

As soon as I can get some new strings on my guitar, I will be learning to play it. :-)

It's official. At 10pm this evening, when I walk out of Smith Hall, I will be done with the University of Kansas. It's a bittersweet departure, as I really enjoy some of my classmates and professors, but I'm always where I need to be and that isn't here any more.

In just under a week I wrote 13,486 words. 5600 of those words I wrote in a 9 hour marathon of writing yesterday (with a brief break to get my hair cut).

Needless to say after that my brain was fried. I meant to go to the library and return my books, but I sort of drove around aimlessly for awhile. Then I returned a public library book to KU's library. I wandered around Borders for a little while, considered trying out a macrobiotic diet and then wandered back home.

Next week is my last week at Pier 1 in Lawrence. I don't think it's quite hit me yet that I'm done here. Of course after moving 3 times throughout the course of my undergrad and graduate career, maybe it just isn't a big deal any more. Us Arnolds, we're wandering nomads.

Speaking of, Nate is currently in Germany for the summer. Lucky jerk.

There wasn't a point to this one...thanks for reading. ;-)

Clouds in My Coffee

2008-05-09T01:18:00.005-05:00

Because, let's face it, he asked for it...

I walked back in my apartment after having one of those "wait, how did I get home?" moments. Standing at the fridge, shoving my face with a colby jack dinner, I turned to notice my recycling. On top of the overflowing bag of plastic bottles, one in particular caught my eye.

The Diet Coke with Lime bottle looked strangely out of place amongst all the super trendy Vitamin Water bottles. Even more out of place next to my bag of beer bottles, left over from what now seems like a past life. I stood there, staring intently at it, coming to terms with my caffeine addiction, propensity for decadence and drama and my tendency to indulge in things that maybe aren't that great for me.

The Diet Coke with Lime bottle stared back, trying to look brave though he knows he faces a slightly uncertain future in a few weeks when I move out.

Relax, I thought. You're in the recycling bag, surely you realize you're destined for better things. A new incarnation. The trick is not to fight it. Just trust me and enjoy the rest of your stay here.

I chuckled, popped a few grapes in my mouth and walked towards the bathroom to brush my teeth. Besides, you'll be a Wal-Mart t-shirt with a clever saying on it before you know it.

8 out of 25

2008-05-04T22:52:00.002-05:00

I'm having trouble in my relationship.

My relationship with my paper for my Theories and Methods class that is. Actually, I think dating is a pretty accurate and effective metaphor for the paper writing process.

It always plays out the same- at the very beginning I'm excited. This is something new, something fresh and promising. I can't wait! It's going to be the best thing that I've ever done!

But then time speeds up and I sort of put it on the back burner, doing little things here and there but not really pouring energy into it. Before I know it the deadline is approaching and the stress is on. I obsess over the details, I'm unsatisfied and nit picky. But when others ask, I'll lie- "Oh yeah, it's totally going great! " Sorry paper, it's not you...it's me.

Eventually it will be over and more than likely I will turn the paper into the antagonist, I'll push it away. "Ugh here's everything that sucked about my paper...blah blah blah. It was just so awful." I have to make it the bad guy, otherwise I have to admit I failed to put my best effort in.

I'm sorry paper. I don't mean to treat you so poorly. Maybe some day I'll be able to pull you back out and revise you, re-discover the joy that was the beginning of our relationship.

Or maybe, just maybe it's not too late to fall back in like (no time for love) with my topic. Maybe, just maybe I can take a breath and actually enjoy the process of unfolding and discovering that is paper writing.

What do you say paper? Can we work it out?

Coming Soon!

2008-04-19T23:19:00.001-05:00

I'll be starting up this blog shortly! Stay tuned!

In the meantime, a big big BIG thank you to Shawn for making the header for me, it looks awesome!