In my random internet roaming today I stumbled across a really cool article on CNN. An avid scuba diver who passed away from cancer had her cremated remains made into an artificial coral reef. Reading this article and looking at other "green funeral" options really got me thinking about death and what I want to happen to my body. I don't plan on dying any time soon, nor do I have any desire to die, but it's just one of those things that intrigues me. Hmm...I never realized just how morbid my curiosity really is.
A ridiculous amount of concrete (millions of tons), embalming chemicals and wood are buried every year, and I don't care to have any part of that. Not to mention the fact that I'm always a little creeped out when I drive past cemeteries knowing that people are rotting in really pretty boxes not that far apart from each other. *shudder*
So entertain my morbid thought experiment for a moment here...
What would my ideal funeral/burial look like?
(Let's assume I've died at age 105 in a motorcycle accident.)
First of all, no black. I want everyone to wear purple. A whole freakin' sea of purple. And there will be an open bar with good wine and beer, because nothing goes better with grief than an organic pinot grigio. I want the funeral part to be brief, with a slide show of pictures from my 105 glorious years set to Beatles music. I want several of my friends/children/grandchildren to offer up their favorite funny stories about me in lieu of a eulogy, and then my 103 year-old brother can tell our favorite family joke-
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A man dies and goes to heaven where God meets him at the Pearly Gates.
"Welcome!" God says. "Before we let you in, there's a little test. You need to answer three questions. First of all, where are you?"
"Oh that's easy!" the man says. "Heaven."
"Very good! Second question- who am I?" God asks.
"Duh! You're God!"
"Good job! One final question- what is my son's name?"
"That's easy!" the man replies. "Andy!"
"Andy?" God asks.
"Yeah! You know the song- 'Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own!"
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And then, just as everyone is starting to get it, the big band at my funeral will launch into the song. (My family can hardly make it through church services/ funerals when we have to sing "In the Garden" without jabbing each other with elbows and quietly giggling. Sacreligious!)
Ideally there won't be a burial service because I'll be cremated. Instead, I'd like my ashes to be placed in the firepit at Inspiration Point at Tall Oaks. That way when the kids are eating their roasted marshmallows, I live on indefinitely! Okay if that's a little too weird for who ever is responsible for dealing with my remains, then I want a white cardboard coffin that everyone can write messages on like this one.
After I've been laid to rest somewhere, I want everyone else to spend the rest of the evening drinking, dancing and enjoying one another's company. Then, I think I could truly rest in peace.
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5 comments:
I liked this post! Who ever woulda thought of cardboard caskets?! I just want to be cremated and sprinkled in cemetery where my grandparents are buried in SE KS. It's on top of a hill and it has a gorgeous view of farmlands. I also want a slideshow of my life set to all the versions of "Over the Rainbow" that I love: Judy Garland, Ella Fitzgerald, and that Hawaiian guy whose name I can't ever spell. Because "Over the Rainbow" is my all-time favorite song.
So you see, you're no the only one who thinks of these things. I've put in a considerable amount of time on my "Life Celebration" plans. But I took a class about death and dying, so it was inevitable. What's your excuse? ;-)
These sound like fine plans. Too bad that you're so much younger than me. I'll have to make to about 130 to attend!
I like your attitude to the environment! Why do we pollute it unnecessarily with chemicals and concrete?
At the same time, you (or rather your children when you have them, and their children and your culture in general) might appreciate having somewhere or something to remember you by. Whatever great party you might have (which sounds like the right thing to do - to CELEBRATE a life well-lived!) and however romantic or cool the idea of ending up in your favorite fire pit is, the fact is that these are temporary things and leave no longer trace in the world. Don't you think you will be worth remembering a little longer than that?
I want to have a green burial (silk shroud, no coffin, no chemicals or concrete) in a beautiful forest, with a primitive old boulder deeply inscribed with my name. Of course it's only my bodily remains, which one way or another, sooner or later, return to nature. But I like the idea that 100 or 500 or 2000 years from now, someone will notice the inscription on the boulder and have a moment's reflection - like we do when we see the pyramids or Etruscan tombs, thousands of years later.
Thomas Friese
Kassie: I've decided I want to walk down the aisle to Israel Kamakawiwoole's version, it's just that beautiful. (Truth be told, I had to google it to get the right spelling!)
And I don't really have a good excuse. Truth be told, I think it's just my control-freak nature that wants everything planned out. :-)
John: Hey, Methuselah did it! If you're still around, I'd love to have magic at my funeral!
Thomas: I like your idea of a woodlands burial. Apparently they're becoming more and more popular in the UK. I'm glad someone shares my affinity for a "green" death.
I think my reluctance to have a headstone comes from the creeped-out factor I get looking at cemeteries. Life is impermanent and eventually I will be forgotten.
At the same time though, maybe it would be a good experience for my family to place a marker somewhere, and instead of burying my body under it, place a time-capsule with things from my life.
Thanks for your comment!
When I needed a dentist seal beach. I knew that these guys were the ones to turn to. My neighbors all said that they were the ones that could give gentle care to my kids.
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