At 2 am this morning Grief found me sleepless. And I, not being strong enough or really caring enough to fight, let it crawl right into bed with me...I even scooted over so it could have more room (metaphorically speaking). Really, what's a girl to do?
I woke up this morning feeling scattered. I originally intended to go to derby practice but, longing for something vaguely familiar, I headed to church. Of course I never really find what it is I think I'm looking for...but maybe, just maybe something will speak to me.
The usual minister was gone, so a different worship leader was giving the sermon this morning. She spoke about Genesis chapter 22, in which God asks Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac. I won't take the time to pick apart her sermon, but it wasn't a sermon...it was a personal struggle with understanding a difficult verse. I don't blame her.
As I'm sitting there listening to her talk about how we blame God for violence, how we project our own horrible actions and tendencies on to God, how we abuse our children in God's name...etc...all I can think is-
You're missing the point! This is the ultimate story of letting go! God promised Abraham a multitude of descendants, but only after he was willing to give up his only son with Sarah. It's only after he was willing to lose everything that he gained it. He let go.
All I can think is-
Oh.
Let go.
In some way isn't that the message of the cross?
Let go.
Let go.
Let it be, Lindsey.
Let it be.
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