I'm having trouble in my relationship.
My relationship with my paper for my Theories and Methods class that is. Actually, I think dating is a pretty accurate and effective metaphor for the paper writing process.
It always plays out the same- at the very beginning I'm excited. This is something new, something fresh and promising. I can't wait! It's going to be the best thing that I've ever done!
But then time speeds up and I sort of put it on the back burner, doing little things here and there but not really pouring energy into it. Before I know it the deadline is approaching and the stress is on. I obsess over the details, I'm unsatisfied and nit picky. But when others ask, I'll lie- "Oh yeah, it's totally going great! " Sorry paper, it's not you...it's me.
Eventually it will be over and more than likely I will turn the paper into the antagonist, I'll push it away. "Ugh here's everything that sucked about my paper...blah blah blah. It was just so awful." I have to make it the bad guy, otherwise I have to admit I failed to put my best effort in.
I'm sorry paper. I don't mean to treat you so poorly. Maybe some day I'll be able to pull you back out and revise you, re-discover the joy that was the beginning of our relationship.
Or maybe, just maybe it's not too late to fall back in like (no time for love) with my topic. Maybe, just maybe I can take a breath and actually enjoy the process of unfolding and discovering that is paper writing.
What do you say paper? Can we work it out?
2 comments:
oh, thank you so much for this one. I totally know all these feelings about writing. What would you call writer's block in this metaphor??
PS- thanks for what you wrote on my blog, it made my day:)
You said it, sister.
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